March 13, 1906
If the soul cannot be without Jesus, it is a sign that she is necessary to His love.
This morning blessed Jesus was not coming, and I was saying to myself: ‘Lord, don’t You see that I feel life missing in me? I feel such necessity of You, that if You do not come, I feel my being destroyed. Do not deny me what is absolutely necessary to me; I do not ask You for kisses, caresses, favors, but only for what is necessary.’ While I was saying this, I found myself all absorbed in Him; my whole being was dissolved in such a way that I could do nothing and see nothing but what He Himself was doing and seeing. I felt blissful, happy, all of my powers dozy – just like one who goes into the depths of the sea, which is all water, and if he looks, he sees water; if he speaks, the water prevents his speech and enters even into his bowels; if he listens, it is the murmuring of the waters that enters into his ears. With this difference: that in the sea one’s life is in danger, and one feels neither happy nor blissful, while in God one reacquires divine life, happiness and beatitude. Then blessed Jesus told me: “My daughter, if you cannot be without Me, so much am I necessary for you, it is a sign that you are necessary to my love. In fact, the degree in which one becomes necessary to someone else, is a sign that the second is necessary to the first. Therefore, even though sometimes It seems that I am not coming, and you struggle, and I see how necessary I am for you, as this necessity grows in you, so does it grow in Me, and I say to Myself: ‘I am going to go and take this relief for my love.’ This is why, after you have struggled, I come.”
April 17, 1906 * San Francisco Earthquake 8.3 and Fire 700 + die God will arm the elements against man. This morning I had a bad time; I was outside of myself and I could see nothing but fire. It seemed that the earth would open and threaten to swallow cities, mountains and men. It seemed that the Lord would want to destroy the earth, but in a special way three different places, distant from one another, and some of them also in Italy. They seemed to be three mouths of volcanoes – some were sending out fire which flooded the cities, and in some places the earth was opening and horrible quakes would occur. I could not understand very well whether these things were happening or will have to happen. How many ruins! Yet, the cause of this is only sin, and man does not want to surrender; it seems that man has placed himself against God, and God will arm the elements against man – water, fire, wind and many other things, which will cause many upon many to die. What fright, what horror! I felt I was dying in seeing all these sorrowful scenes; I would have wanted to suffer anything to placate the Lord. And the Lord made Himself seen for just a little – but who can say how? I said a few words to placate Him, but He would not listen to me. Then He told me: “My daughter, I can find no place left in which to rest in my creation. Let Me rest in you, and you – rest in Me and keep quiet.”