My sweet Jesus would do nothing but dispose me to that mystical marriage which He had promised me. When I was in that state, He would make Himself seen sometimes three times a day, sometimes four, as He pleased; and sometimes it was a continuous coming and going. He seemed to be a sweetheart who cannot be without his spouse. This is how Jesus was with me, and sometimes he reached the point of telling me: “You see, I love you so much that I cannot be without coming. I feel almost restless, thinking that you are there suffering for Me, and you are alone; this is why I have come – to see if you need something.” And while saying this, He Himself would lift my head, He would place His arm around my neck and hug me; and while holding me like that, He would kiss me, and if it was summertime and it was hot, He would send a refreshing breath from His mouth, or He would take something in His hand and fan me. And then He would ask me: “How are you feeling? Don’t you feel better?” I would say to Him: ‘Being with You, in whatever way, one always feels well.’
Other times, then, if He saw me very weak because of my continuously being in those sufferings, especially if the confessor was coming at night, my lover Jesus would come, and in seeing me in that state of extreme weakness - to the point that at times I felt I was dying - He would draw near me and from His mouth He would pour milk into mine, or He would place me close to His side, and from there I would suckle torrents of sweetnesses, of delights and of strength. And He would say to me: “I really want to be your everything, and also your nourishment - for the soul and for the body.” Who can tell what I experienced, both in the soul and in the body, from these graces that Jesus would give me? If I wanted to tell them, I would be too long. I remember that, sometimes, when He would not come quickly, I would lament to Him, telling Him: ‘O please! oh! Holy Spouse, how could You make me wait so long – I could not resist any more, I felt I was dying without You.’ And while saying this, the pain I felt was such that I would cry. And He would compassionate all of me; He would dry my tears, He would kiss me, He would hug me, and say: “I do not want you to cry. See, now I am with you – tell me what you want.” I would say to Him: ‘I want nothing but You, and only then will I stop crying, when You promise me You will not make me wait for so long.’ And He would say to me: “Yes, yes, I will make you content.”
One day, while we were in this contrast, and the pain was so great that I could not stop crying, my good Jesus told me: “I want to content you in everything. I feel so drawn toward you that I cannot do without doing what you want. If up until now I have removed the external life from you and I have manifested Myself to you, now I want to draw your soul to Me, so that, wherever I go, you may come along. In this way, you will be able to enjoy Me more, and bind yourself to Me more intimately than you have done in the past.”