I will continue from where I left, saying, ‘and this is how He did it’:
In the morning, I went to Communion, and as soon as I received Jesus, I immediately said to Him: ‘My Lord, look at what a storm I find myself in. I should thank You for You gave light to the confessor in giving me the obedience to suffer, but instead, my nature is so very affected that I myself remain confused at seeing myself so bad. However, all this is nothing; You who want the sacrifice, will also give me the strength. But the strongest reason in me is that of having to remain so long without being able to receive You in the Sacrament. Who would be able to resist without You? Who will give me the strength? Where shall I find a refreshment in my afflictions?’ And while saying this, I felt such pains in my heart because of this separation from Jesus in the Sacrament, that I cried my heart out. Then, the Lord, compassionating my weakness, told me: “Do not fear, I Myself will sustain your weakness. You do not know what graces I have prepared for you, and this is why you fear so much. Am I not omnipotent? Will I not be able to make up for the privation of being able to receive Me in the Sacrament? Therefore, resign yourself, place yourself as though dead in my arms; offer yourself as voluntary victim to repair for the offenses against Me, for sinners, and to spare men the deserved scourges, and as a pledge I give you my word that I will not leave you even one day without coming to see you. Up until now you have come to Me, from now on I will come to you – aren’t you happy?”
So I resigned myself to the Holy Will of God, and I was surprised by this state of sufferings. Now, who can tell the graces that the Lord began to give me? It is impossible to tell everything distinctly; I can say something confusedly. But as much as I can, and in order to do the holy obedience which wants it so, I will try to say as much as it is possible for me.
I remember that from the very beginning of my being continuously bedridden, my Lover Jesus would make Himself seen very often, which He had not done in the past. From the beginning He told me that He wanted me to take on a new way of life in order to dispose myself to that mystical marriage which He had promised me. He would say to me: “Beloved of my Heart, I have put you in this state so that I might come more freely to converse with you. See, I have freed you of all external occupations, so that, not only your soul, but also your body might be at my disposal, and so that you might remain in continuous holocaust before Me. See, had I not drawn you into this bed, since you would have to carry out your family duties and submit yourself to other sacrifices, I could not come so often and let you share in the offenses, just as I receive them; at most, I would have to wait for when you have fulfilled your duties. But now – no, we are free, there is no one left who may bother us and interrupt our conversation. From now on, my afflictions will be yours, and yours will be Mine; my sufferings yours, and yours Mine; my consolations yours, and yours Mine. We will unite all things together, and you will take interest in my things as if they were your own; and so I will do with yours. Between the two of us there will no longer be ‘this is mine, and this is yours’, but everything will be in common, on both sides.
Do you know how I acted with you? Like a king when he wants to speak with his queen spouse, and she is with other ladies on other affairs. What does the king do? He takes her and brings her inside his room; they close the door, so that no one may go and interrupt their conversation and hear their secrets; and so, once they are alone, they communicate their consolations and their afflictions to each other. Now, if someone, imprudent, went to knock, shouting from behind the door, and did not leave them alone to enjoy their conversation – would the king not take offense? So have I done for you, and in the same way I would be displeased if someone wanted to remove you from that state.”