By order of the current confessor, I move on to speak about something else. I will obey in manifesting the various ways in which the Lord has spoken to me:
It seems to me that the ways in which the Lord has spoken to me are four; but these four ways of Jesus’ speaking are very different from inspirations.
1 – The first way is when the soul goes out of herself. However, first I want to explain a little bit better about this going out of myself. It happens in two ways: the first is instantaneous, almost in a flash; and it is so sudden, that it seemed to me that the body would lift a little bit from the bed in order to follow the soul, but then it would stay there. And it seemed to me that the body would remain as dead, while the soul would follow Jesus, walking throughout the whole universe - the earth, the air, the seas, the mountains, Purgatory and Heaven, where many times He showed me the place where I will be after I die. The other way, then, for the soul to go out, is more quiet. It seems that the body dozes off insensibly and remains as though petrified at the presence of Jesus Christ; however, the soul remains with the body, and the body no longer feels anything of external things – even if all the universe turned upside down; even if they burned me up and reduced me to pieces.
These two ways, so different, of going out of myself, I have noticed sensibly, because in the first way, having to obey the confessor when he would come to wake me up, I would see him from the place where Jesus would lead me – that is, from the ends of the earth, or of the air, or of the mountains, or of the sea, or of Purgatory, or even of Heaven itself. Even more, it would seem to me that I would not have the time to let the confessor find my soul in the body, and therefore I would not be able to obey. It seemed that, so far away as I was with my soul – I say, it seemed to me – that I would bustle about, and become all anxious and worried that I might not be able to let myself be found there by the confessor in time, and therefore I would not be able to obey. However, I confess that I have always been there in time, and it seemed to me that my soul would enter my body before the confessor would begin to give me the obedience to wake up.
Even more, I tell the truth, many times, from afar, I could see the confessor coming, but in order not to leave Jesus, it seemed that I would not be thinking that the confessor was coming. But then Jesus Himself would hurry me to return with the soul into my body so as to be able to obey the confessor. And then I would feel great reluctance about leaving Jesus, but obedience would win; and upon leaving Jesus, He Himself either kissed me or embraced me, or would do something else to take leave of me. And I, upon leaving my dear Jesus, would say to Him: ‘I go to the confessor, but You, my good Jesus, come back soon, as soon as the confessor goes away.’
These are, then, the two ways in which the soul seemed to go out of the body, and in these two ways in which the soul goes out, God speaks to me. This way of speaking He Himself calls intellectual speaking. I will try to explain it: after the soul has gone out of the body, finding herself before Jesus, she has no need of words in order to understand what the Lord wants to tell her; nor does the soul need to speak in order to make herself understood; but through the intellect – oh! how well we understand each other when we are together. From a light that comes from Jesus into my intellect, I feel everything that my Jesus wants to make me understand being impressed within me. This way is very high and sublime; so much so, that the nature can hardly adapt itself to explain it with words – it can barely give a few ideas. This way of Jesus of making Himself understood is extremely rapid – in one simple instant one learns many sublime things, more than by reading entire books. Oh! what a most ingenious teacher Jesus is – in one simple instant He teaches so many things, while it would take entire years for someone else, if he manages at all, because the terrestrial teacher does not have the power to draw the will of his disciple, or to infuse things in his mind without effort and toil. But not with Jesus: His sweetness, the loveliness of His gesture, the gentleness of His speaking are so great - and then He is so beautiful, that as soon as the soul sees Him, she feels so drawn that sometimes the speed with which she runs after Jesus is so great, that almost without realizing it, she finds herself transformed into the beloved, in such a way that the soul is no longer capable of distinguishing her terrestrial being so much is she identified with the Divine Being. Who can tell what the soul feels in this state? It would take Jesus Himself, or a soul perfectly separated from the body, because in finding herself surrounded once again by the wall of this body, and losing that light which before kept her submerged, the soul loses very much and remains obscured. So, if she tries to say something, she can do it only roughly.
To give an idea, I will say that I imagine one born blind, who has never had the good of seeing what is contained in the entire universe, and who, for a few minutes, had the good of opening his eyes to the light and were able to see everything that is contained in the world - the sun, the heavens, the sea, the many cities, the many machines, the varieties of flowers and the many other things that are in the world; and who, after those few minutes of light, returned to the blindness of before. Now, could he describe, distinctly, everything that he has seen? He could give a rough outline, and say a few things confusedly. Now, something similar happens when the soul finds herself separated, and then back into the body. I don’t know whether I am saying nonsense, but just as that poor blind one would remain but with the sorrow of the lost sight, the same for the soul: she lives moaning and almost in a violent state, because the soul feels always violently drawn toward the highest Good. The attraction toward Himself that Jesus leaves in the soul is so great, that the soul would like to remain always attracted within her God. But this cannot be, and therefore she lives as if she lived in Purgatory. I add that the soul has nothing of her own in this state – everything is operation done by the Lord.
2 - Now I will try to explain the second way that Jesus has in speaking: finding herself outside of herself, the soul sees the person of Jesus Christ, for example, as a child, or crucified, or in any other posture; and the soul sees the Lord pronouncing the words from His mouth, and the soul answers from her mouth. Sometimes it happens that the soul begins to converse with Jesus, just as two intimate spouses would do. The speaking of the Lord is very moderate – just four or five words, and sometimes even just one word; very rarely it lengthens a little bit. But in those very few words – ah! how much light He introduces into the soul. I seem to see a little rivulet at first sight, but in looking more closely, instead of a rivulet, one can see an immense sea. Such is one word said by Jesus. The immensity of light it leaves in the soul is such, that by chewing it thoroughly, she discovers so many things, sublime and profitable for her soul, as to remain astonished.
I believe that if all the learned united together, they would all remain confused and mute at one single word of Jesus. Now, this way is more suitable for the human nature, and it can be manifested easily, because upon entering herself, the soul brings with her that which she has heard from the mouth of Our Lord, and she communicates it to the body. It is not so easy when it is through the intellect.
To me, I think that Jesus has this way of speaking in order to adapt Himself to the human nature. It is not that He needs the word in order to make Himself understood, but in this way the soul understands more easily, and she can manifest it to the confessor. In sum, Jesus acts like a most knowledgeable, wise and intelligent teacher, who possesses all sciences to the highest degree, and no one can equal Him. But since He finds Himself in the midst of disciples who have not yet learned the first syllables of the alphabet, keeping all of the other studies within Himself, He teaches the a,b,c to the disciples.
Oh! how good is Jesus. He adapts Himself to the learned and speaks to them in a very high manner, in such a way that in order to understand Him, they have to study well what He tells them. And He adapts Himself to the ignorant, pretending to be, He Himself, a little bit ignorant; and He speaks in a low manner, in such a way that no one may remain on an empty stomach from the lesson of this Divine Teacher.
3 – The third way in which Jesus speaks to me is when, in speaking, He communicates its very substance to the soul. It seems to me that just as when the Lord created the world, at one word things were created, in the same way, since His word is creative, in the very act in which He pronounces the word, He creates in the soul that very thing which He is saying. As for example, Jesus says to the soul: “See how beautiful things are, but as much as your eye may flow over the earth and in Heaven, you will never find a beauty similar to Me.” At these words of Jesus, the souls feels a certain something divine enter herself; the soul remains so very drawn toward this beauty, and at the same time she loses attraction for all the other things. As beautiful and precious as they may be, they make no impression on her soul. That which remains fixed within her and almost transmuted into her is the beauty of Jesus: of that beauty she thinks, with that beauty she feels invested, and she remains so enamored that if the Lord did not operate another miracle, her heart would crack, and the soul would breathe her last out of pure love for this beauty of Jesus, so as to fly into Heaven and delight in this beauty of Jesus. I myself don’t know whether I am speaking nonsense.
In order to explain myself better about this substantial speaking of Jesus, I will say something else. Jesus says: “See how pure I am – in you also I want to find purity in everything.” At these words the soul feels a divine purity enter into her. This purity is transmuted into herself, and she arrives at living as if she no longer had a body - and so with the other virtues. Oh! how desirable is this speaking of Jesus. As for myself, I would give away everything that is on earth - if I could possess it - to have one of these words of Jesus alone.
4 – The fourth way in which Jesus speaks to me is when I find myself inside myself – that is, in the natural state. This also happens in two ways: the first is when, while being inside myself, recollected within the interior of my heart, without articulation of voice or sound to the ear of the body, Jesus speaks interiorly. The second is just like we do it; and sometimes this happens even when I am distracted or I am speaking with other people. But one of these words alone is enough to make me recollect myself if I am distracted, or to give me peace if I am disturbed, or to console me if I am afflicted.