After I tried to exercise myself in these things for some time - now doing it and now falling (although I see clearly that I still lack this spirit of uprightness, and I am ever more confused, thinking of my great ingratitude) - He spoke to me about, and He made me understand, the necessity of the spirit of mortification. (Although I remember that in all these things that He told me, He always added that everything should be done for love of Him, and that the most beautiful virtues, the greatest sacrifices, would become insipid if they did not take origin from love. “Charity”, He said to me, “is a virtue that gives life and splendor to all of the others, in such a way that without it, they are all dead. My eye receives no attraction, and they have no power over my Heart. Be careful, then, and let your works, even the least ones, be invested by charity – that is, in Me, with Me and for Me”).
So, let’s go back to mortification. He said to Me: “I want all your things, even the necessary ones, to be done in a spirit of sacrifice. See, your works cannot be recognized by Me as mine, if they do not have the mark of mortification. Just as a coin is not recognized by the peoples if it does not carry on itself the image of their king – even more, it is despised and neglected - the same with your works: if they do not have the graft with my cross, they cannot have any value. See, now it is not about destroying the creatures, but yourself – making you die, that you may live only in Me and of my own life. It is true that it will cost you more than what you have done; but pluck up courage, do not fear – it is not you who will do it, but I Myself will work in you.”
So I received more lights about the annihilation of myself. He said to me: “You are nothing but a shadow – as you try to grab it, it escapes you. You are nothing.”
I felt so annihilated, that I would have wanted to hide in the deepest abysses, but I saw myself incapable of doing it. I felt such blushing that I remained mute. While I was in this undoing of my nothingness, He said to Me: “Draw near Me, cling to my arm – I will sustain you with my hands and you will receive strength. You are blind, but my light will serve you as guide. See, I will place Myself in front of you, and you will do nothing but look at me in order to imitate Me.”